<< Kareoke Brings out the Kountry in Me!!! >>
2004-10-09 @ 2:27 a.m.

So... Dustin's friends from work - Lindsey and (The Other ) Dustin ARE SO COOL. They invited us to kareoke (spelling, anyone? ) night at this fun PUB! It was a TAVERN! So crazy. And I didn't have one drop of alcohol and managed to have a fantastic time!!! I'm really pleased with myself for (a) making new friends, (b) being gutsy enough to hang out with them in a strange place I wouldn't ordinarily go, and (c) for chilling out enough to be myself and have a good time.

Hooray!

This has been a good topper to an otherwise bad night. I had another "episode". *sigh* These self-destructive little explosions are so hard to explain to people who get caught in the crossfire. ( Kimberly!)

I tried to explain, but of course they don't make any sense, so neither did my explanation. They sound so irrational even to ME, and it's my issue.

It's like, getting self-conscious, and anxious, and self-hating, and suspicious of EVERYONE. That's what it's like. I hate myself and I think that everyone is lying to me or secretly hates me....... it's so dumb, I know. But that's what makes these things so difficult to deal with. I'm logical enough to be able to say "this is so lame, you know". And then I'm like "I know", but I STILL FEEL THAT WAY!

And that makes no sense.

So, yeah. It was a problem today. But then we went out and had a great time with our new friends!!! HOORAY!

AND, I have never been to kareoke before! So I am no longer a kareoke virgin (though I didn't sing, and hopefully never will be drunk enough in public TO sing kareoke ).

But that's a whole nother story. Well, it's 2:30. I'm going to bed.

Goodnight!
~Me

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